The "most controversial" commentary on Dalai Lama

According to the most reliable sources, the Dalai Lama arrived in Vancouver for a short, all-expense-paid "business" trip. Since it's not popular to criticise the Dalai Lama (at least not in this part of the world), the Fairy Godfather will just quote certain passages directly from the article, and you can tell me what you think.

Source: National Post - Sept. 09, 2006
By Brian Hutchinson
Original article for click here

"Most of us know him as His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama. Tenzin Gyatso describes himself on his official Web site as 'a simple Buddhist monk.'"
--- A SIMPLE monk? You mean the supreme head of Tibetan Buddhism, Nobel Prize winner, and a receiver of secret CIA fundings? Well, you can't deny that modesty is a good virture.


"The Dalai Lama's trip here has also drawn thousands of devotees. Celebrities and ordinary folk. Children, business leaders, politicians, gurus. Kim Campbell is in town, and Deepak Chopra, and Jason Kenney, Canada's parliamentary secretary to the prime minister. Bill Clinton, alas, sent his regrets."
--- Guess what? We've finally found Kim Campbell!!

"[The Dalai Lama] had just made a 40-hour journey from his base in Dharamasala, India, and looked a little worse for wear. A little dour, perhaps, even unaware of what city he was in; the 71-year-old has a famously poor memory."
--- Yikes. Not knowing which city you are in as a high-profile celebrity is never a good thing, especially when you are already an honourary citizen of the country.

" 'Why are you here?' someone asked. The Dalai Lama brightened. 'Quite simple. There was an invitation.'
'I accepted an invitation,' the Dalai Lama said."
--- Uhh...good answer?

"[The Dalai Lama] was pleased to have been given honorary Canadian citizenship...He cackled. "I want to know the rights ... I don't want to know the duties.""
--- So...only play and no work, eh?

"He came to inaugurate a proposed $60-million Dalai Lama Centre for Peace and Education. A site has not yet been located... Money still has to be raised."
--- So what exactly is he here for?

"The Dalai Lama smiled. 'This is not just a unicentre,' he said. '[It's a place] to work together, [to have] more discussions, more research work. That's it.'

That's it? To his left sat Victor Chan, a Vancouver native and the Dalai Lama's long-time friend. Mr. Chan has worked tirelessly to bring the concept of the Peace and Education Centre to Vancouver.

'I am not here to promote the Dalai Lama Centre,' declared the Dalai Lama.
Mr. Chan looked perplexed. "
--- Maybe someone should inform him better next time - at least tell him which country he's in and what he's there for.

Bernard Lord's List of Legacies

As the provincial election campaigns heat up in New Brunswick, many are getting ready to witness a close race between the incumbent Conservatives, whose majority government recently went "minor", and the Liberals, who were a seat short from forming the government during the last election and thus ended up being Opposition (ouch).

As one would think that the incumbents usually get a better "edge" for being the "familiar faces", it might not be the case for Bernard (Bernie) Lord, the current conservative premier of N.B. His bureaucratic style may explain why many New Brunswickers draw a blank when asked to list his accomplishments or failures. In a poll last winter, 60 per cent of respondents either didn't know, or answered nothing, when asked to list his accomplishments, while 39 per cent couldn't name his greatest failure.

The Fairy Godfather was outraged to hear that the majority of the public could not think of Bernie's achievements, so he drew up a List of Legacies for Bernie Lord. Hopefully that will make the public remember him better


Bernard Lord's List of Legacies

We'll remember him for ..........



Being bilingual (and keeps showing it off. Yes, Bernie, we get it! Tu parles en francais. Woohoo!)

Making some of the "most popular" changes to N.B. health care, particularly the closure of beds at hospitals in Miramichi and Dalhousie, and consolidation of 4 hospitals in the Supper St.John River Valley into one.



Whining at a press-conference about his family being "attacked" by a satirical website that bore his name. Of course, "protecting his family" is every man's job, and the best way to do it is by turning a hardly noticeable mention of his family into front-page news.

Having the last name "Lord"

And lastly

Looking like Mr.Bean (You can sort of see the transition ...starting with Mr.Bean on the top and ending with Bernie Lord)

Jerry Springer -- let the experience speak for itself

Ever wondered how could Jerry Springer, the senile, havoc-provoking man in a suit who calls himself "the Ringmaster" with a somewhat unsuccessful former political career, could stand the smacking, the whacking, and the "coarse language and subject that's not-suitable-for- young-viewers-but-nobody-gives-a-damn-anyway"?

The answer: his own experience

It might be before your time, but in 1977, the RingMaster made an attempt for the Governor of Ohio. Unlike most politicians who would talk about their platforms and solutions to social issues, Jerry Springer talked about his sexual experience with a prostitute. He even filmed a TV ad about it (Click play below to watch the video)

Jerry Springer Paid For Sex - video powered by Metacafe

The result? He lost. Ouch! But it DID work when he ran for the Cincinnati City Council back in 1975. Maybe Clinton would have had an easier time in office had he made an ad about him and Monica.

"CLINTON! CLINTON! CLINTON! CLINTON!"

Or, even better -- Put Jerry on his own show. His Simpsons alter-ego can be the host

Stephen Harper = the next Emmy winner?

Ever since Stephen Harper became the PM of Canada, we've been wondering "What HAS he been doing?" Well, this question was answered last Tuesday. He's shooting for the Emmy Award!

This news is a few days old, but just in case that you haven't heard, Stephen Harper is planning his leap to stardom by making an appearance on the TV comedy Corner Gas. It is confirmed that he portrays himself on the show. Harper seems to be an ideal actor, as according to the producer of the show, "He knew his lines, he had them down pat." The producer also remarked that Harper "was very relaxed and funny."

Relaxed and funny?! Well, I guess that can only tell us one thing: Mr. Harper, it's time to get switch jobs. If no surprises, we shall see him at the next Emmy Award.

And since they are keeping the plot of the episode as a secret, here's a promotional poster conjured by the Fairy Godfather.

Stephen Harper as Himself

The Grand Opening

Welcome to the self-explanatory blog featuring wacky political stories and fake stuff conjured by the Fairy Godfather. The comments are the sole opinions of the Fairy Godfather, an alienated elder, thus they should not be taken seriously. If you are looking for real, serious news, here's a better place for you.